DNF

I hate those three letters. Despise them with a severe passion. Ask any athlete or competitor of any sport at any level and they will tell you they represent everything opposite to everything the athlete believes and holds as significant. This will exemplify the feelings I have this morning. Justified or not, DNF comes to represent gaps in my training program. The ultimate responsibility remains with me, so any consequences therein are mine as well. Keeping this in mind, my decision to not continue after mile 22 must be viewed as the right decision since the outcomes may have been extremely different. Right now I have the luxury of a pity party yet I have the availability to make the necessary corrections and continue on with my training focusing on my next race. Had I possessed the internal mechanisms to drive on in spite of what was occurring, I may have found myself unable to continue within any venue, let alone running. Hence, at mile 22 I made the decision to withdraw from the race and take my DNF.
What took place: The only thing I didn't anticipate yesterday was the wind. I knew it was going to be cold so I came fully prepared with all sorts of clothing. I knew the run was going to be challenging since I have completed this course on two other occasions. I had my entire fueling planned out to the hour including water. I even had a special shipment of fuel delivered just in time for the race so I would have all the nutrients ready. On top of that, I purchased a portable battery supply for my iPOD. I mean, I covered my bases! Except....there were issues. My HR monitor stopped in warm-up. Then it started again. Then it showed my HR pinging way over my max DURING WARM-UP! I was also not entirely focused prior to the start, not common for me. I usually find my zone pretty quickly, but this time I had 'too many minds' going on as a result of a very disturbing week.
I thought I did pretty well making the initial climb of 2000 feet or so even with my HR indicating a steady 160-165 rate. (Yes, that's too high.) I followed everything perfectly and even knew my pace was slow due to the climb, and even chalked up the HR to the climb. I hit the turn around at mile 11 and headed back down the mountain. It was the downhill that finally caught up with me and the adductors started signaling me of their impending collapse.
By the time I hit mile 16 where Deb was working the aid station, I was pretty much only walking, even though it was all down hill. I continued on as she drove to the next station which was at the 10K turn-around. By the time I reached her again, my adductors were as taught as violin strings and running only lasted 20 paces at a time. The last three miles to the start/finish took nearly an hour to complete, and by the time I arrived to check-in, I had pretty much determined that my day was done.
How did this happen? Where did I go wrong in my training? I thought about something on the way home and I don't believe it is coincidental. The same thing happened to me on 10OCT10 during the Hoover Dam Marathon. I signed up to run the full, but by the time I hit mile 10, my same muscles were screaming at me and I was only moving through a bent-over position. The fortunate circumstance to that race was the ability to have my time counted for the half marathon and I did not receive the infamous DNF. Then it happened again yesterday. The link? On both races I had completed the Army Physical Fitness Test only two days prior to the event.
Don't get me wrong....it wasn't the test itself that did me in. It was the lack of focused training the area of abdominals and hip flexors through strength and flexibility training that provided the conditions to be so ripe for injury during the runs themselves. And here again is where I get to take the responsibility for my injury. I had missed-trained these areas and focused so heavily on my running that my muscles were not used to the strain applied to them during the APFT and without sufficient time to recover before the race, the muscles simply didn't have sufficient endurance to complete the races.
So, I have a 50 mile sticker that won't get added to my truck just yet. I lost a significant amount of financial investment through race entry fees, products purchase, etc. Tough lessons to learn, and ones only I can assimilate. Upon occasion I wonder what people will think, but then I remember two very important principles: the ones who opinions count will only be those that support me, and those who criticize don't have to live in my body from now until the injury heals or for that matter, doesn't heal because I did too much damage. And really, do I really care what the negative fault-finder and the "I'm-better-than-you' type person thinks? That only shows a complete lack of empathy (being able to see from someone else's eyes.)
So what now? My training continues. It will be severely adjusted, but it will continue. My only responsibilities now include the two master degree classes I am taking so time is entirely on my side and the absence of negative criticism will only serve to benefit me in the long run(pun intended!) Yep, I am going to feel sorry for myself today. Poor me. Waaa waaa waaa
But then I am going look at other things in my life that remind me of who I am but WHOSE I am. And I will get back on my training wheel and be the little hamster I love to be.